8 Signs Your Unhealed Wounds Are Destroying Your Well-being

“Nobody goes through the games of life without some form of trauma.”

Trauma can happen to anyone. It can look different for each individual person. Over the past several year, I’ve taken the time to get to know trauma. There are signs that you can look for in your day to day life to help you know if you are holding on to unhealed wounds.

The 8 signs of Trauma

1. Low self worth.  

This is especially true with childhood trauma. As children, we don’t have that capacity for reasoning and logic yet. Anything that happens to us as a child isn’t able to be processed how it is as an adult. Instead of being able to place blame on someone, or retract from a person, we make the assumption that it is our own fault. Anything bad that happens is because of us. This reflects into our adulthood through low self worth. This may look like talking down on yourself, being unable to take a compliment, or not realizing how amazing you are.

2. Intense fear of failure.

When you have an intense fear of failure, your world is turned upside down when something goes wrong. Any small mistakes, flaws, or weakness makes you feel incredibly overwhelmed.

3. The fear of success.

The fear of success is associated with early abandonment. When you are left at a young age, you take in the feeling of rejection, not being enough. This can show up as a fear of judgement, as well.

4. Micromanaging

Micromanaging stems from helplessness. Feeling helpless makes everything feel overwhelming. People who micromanage plan everything to a tee and have a need for control. If things suddenly don’t go as planned, panic sets in. This can also show up a hypervigilance.

5. Inability to celebrate change.

This is one I had a strong personal connection to. When I finally had my dream job, in my dream home I couldn’t appreciate it. I was waiting for it to be taken away. I felt I wasn’t worthy of having it all. Our wounds can cause us to feel unworthy. That unworthiness reflects on our ability to celebrate change.

6. Hurting yourself and others. 

Unhealed trauma causes you to isolate yourself. It can show up as someone who often loses their temper and reacts instead of responding. A lot of people who find themselves showing this sign look back later and wonder, “Why did I say that?” or “Why did I do that?”. This can lead to a rabbit hole of shame and guilt.

7. Inability to ask for help.

Sometimes trauma shows up in unexpected ways. The fear of judgement and rejection makes it feel impossible to reach out and get help. It may reflect as a sign of weakness or embarrassment. One thing to keep in mind is that not asking for help is not a sign of strength. Overcoming the inability to ask for help is as strong as it gets.

8. Inability to concentrate and be present.

The eighth sign shows up most commonly when people are living in their heads. You overthink everything to avoid dealing with the emotions. You keep your mind constantly busy. You live in your head instead of feeling and healing. 

“You are not broken, you are wounded.”

Whatever trauma you may be going through, remember that you are so much more that what happened to you. Trauma doesn’t break you, it wounds you. I want to encourage you today to allow trauma to be your teacher. Allow suffering to be your school and take advantage of all of the lessons.

It’s time to create a life that you don’t need to escape from.

Best,

Claire