Self Doubt is NOT a "You" Problem

“Self doubt is not a “You” problem.”

Everyone deals with self doubt. It’s completely unavoidable as part of the human experience. So why do some people struggle with it and others don’t?

The important thing to remember is that self doubt isn’t the problem- it’s your relationship with self doubt. It separates the dreamers from the achievers. In order to achieve the goals and dreams you set out for yourself, your dreams have to be bigger than your fears.

3 Signs that self doubt is holding you back

Self doubt can be sneaky. It can appear to us in different ways. Here are three signs that your self doubt might be controlling you.

1. You worry about things you can’t control. When it comes to wanting control, your self doubt may be the driver behind the steering wheel. It fuels the fear behind the unknown. “What happens next in life?” “I have to make sure that everything happens exactly the way I want it to.” But, the less fear you have, the less you try to control your future. You have to make peace with not being in control.

2. Procrastination. Self doubt and procrastination go hand in hand. It all comes from that feeling of not being good enough. When we don’t feel like we can achieve something, we put off doing it. If I think to myself, “Oh, my podcast isn’t going to go very well” then I will put it off more and more to avoid the possibility of disappointment. 

3. You care more about what others think than you care about yourself. This can be so challenging, especially with the prevalence of social media. The most important thing is to remember that no amount of external validation or putting others first could compensate for self worth, self love, self acceptance or self compassion.  

So how can you actually start overcome your self doubt? Try a few of these.

Top Tips to Overcome Self Doubt

 #1 I identified my core values. When we don’t know who we are, we allow ourselves to be defined by others. I’m so driven by where I’m going, that I don’t care what others think.

#2 Identify your limiting beliefs. Your beliefs drive you thoughts. Your thoughts drive your emotions. Your emotions drive your actions. Your actions drive your behaviors.

#3 Inner child healing. Self doubt is a sign of fear. A lot of times, it’s the fear our inner child has. 

#4 I detached my worth from approval, appearance, and achievements. 

#5 Stop comparing yourself to strangers on the internet. Social media is one of the biggest killers of confidence because we’re comparing our messy behind the scenes to everyone's highlight reel.

#6 Detach and diffuse from your thoughts: Catch, challenge, and change them. Ask yourself for a better thought!

#7 Action alleviates anxiety. Do not try to think your way into the perfect decision. There is no right or wrong decision- just a decision. Decisiveness is an outcome of confidence. Start making more decisions and take action. 

#8 Trust the universe. Trust that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be and that you’re being guided and supported. Faith over fear.

#9 Build a toolbox with resources for yourself. Learn how to stop the spiral before you get into the spiral. In my tool box is to listen to a good podcast or Disney playlist, EFT, journaling, reaching out to a friend. 

#10 Daily nervous system regulation. Our mind is controlled by our nervous system. Regulate your system with daily meditation, breathwork, movement, and mindset work(like listening to a podcast or reading).

“Learn to love all parts of yourself.”

Self doubt is just another piece of our puzzle. It is something that will always be present. But the way we choose to take control of our self doubt will impact our confidence and self love.  

If you’re struggling with self doubt, I encourage you to try these journaling prompts today.

• What would your life look like with less self doubt?
• If you got to turn the notch on your confidence from a 2 to a 7 or 8, how different would your life look? How different would you think, act, or feel?

Best,

Claire

For more on Self Doubt, check out the podcast episode.