Attachment Styles, Healthy Dating and Relationships in 2022 - Powerful Strategies to Improve Your Relationships with Annie Lavin
Welcome to the Women of Worth Podcast with Claire Fealy!
In this week's bonus episode, I speak with Annie Lavin! She is a couples therapist, a singles coach, and a relationship educator! She has a wealth of information to share with us today! I ask questions and she answers! But, this isn’t just my podcast. I would never be where I am today without you! So, settle in, grab a nice cup of tea, and welcome to another episode of OUR podcast.
Being Single [5:21]
- People often think love can only be found externally outside of themselves [5:30]
- We often times glamourize intimate relationships [6:00]
- People start to blame themselves when it isn't working out like they thought [6:15]
Overcoming “what's wrong with me”?[7:00]
- We have to understand each person's unique patterns [7:20]
- Bring compassion [7:40]
- Not overlook love is available now within me [8:10]
- Mindset of love and idea of eternal love [9:00]
Attachment styles [14:00]
- Our relationships with our primary caregivers can have an impact on our daily life and relationships [14:30]
- A great place to start is the book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller [15:50]
- Attachment styles are fluid and are not an identity [16:30]
- People believe they need to work to get love and that they are undeserving of it [19:30]
Dating Apps [22:10]
- When you are fatigued and frustrated it is time to come off of them [22:50]
- I think the apps are a great place to practice relating skills [22:55]
- It is all about your intention online [23:20]
Planning the Future [27:15]
- Yes, women in particular [27:25]
- We get to know people over time in a minimum of 0 to 3 months [27:30]
- We need to give one another time [28:30]
- It is all about your intention online [23:20]
- If your only mission in dating is being with your forever person your life would lack a little bit of color [29:30]
- People can lose sight of growth and transformation when they are in pursuit of a partner [33:30]
How much do you think Disney has messed us all up? [37:05]
- Even when you think that pursuit and the energy involved [37:10]
- Awareness of old stories rather than basking in the amazing things happening in our lives [38:00]
- Triggers of not having that happily ever after [38:40]
Coaching clients on Jealousy [39:30]
- We have to accept it [39:55]
- We have to find compassion for ourselves [40:10]
- Normalize the feelings of being happy for others and being jealous [40:30]
- Shifting focus on things going on in your life [41:00]
- Bring attention to the fact that we don't really ever know that much about other people's lives [41:20]
- Jealousy sometimes is pointing out what it is that you really want [43:05]
- Your feelings are feedback for your needs [43:30]
Struggling to let go [43:50]
- Sit with how are you feeling with this person [45:20]
- We have to allow for all of the pain to be felt, to move, shift and be there [47:00]
- You also have to not feel shame in feeling the pain [48:30]
- I would encourage a break from communication [49:00]
- We are blaming and outsourcing our peace and ability to move one [50:30]
- Give ourselves time [51:50]
Top Tips for dating in 2022 [57:40]
- Get to know yourself and do that work [57:50]
- Know what you need [59:00]
- Be okay with rejection and know you’re worthy [1:01:20]
- Know your intention in online dating [1:01:30]
- There is nothing wrong with you and believe it [1:02:15]
Learn more about Annie on Instagram therelationshipcoach.ie
